My sad sad angry day

I am so angry today. Because I am so sad. I am learning things about my childhood that is hurting me so much. I must have all this time lived in a time of denial. I am having flash backs to things that I do not like. I am so scared to know if it is true. Because if it is true than my daddy hurt me in ways that a daddy should not do. I am so scared and soo hurt. My mother since my dad died has been showing me who she really is and I dont like that person. She is a self senterd person that wants all the money that she can get weather it hurts her children or not. Yes I know that my mom is an adult. But the stuff that she has been putting me through is not a good thing. I can not stand it. It seems that I am now having to morn the loss of my mother. Even though she is still alive. she wont let me have anything of my fathers. I havt the way she said that I would sell it. I would not do that It would be the only thing of my fathers. But then now I dont know if I want any thing to do with her at all. Oh I am so confused, Hurt and SAD.